The Shattered Fourth Wall
by ArceusGPG
Summary: Equestria has never seen anything like it. Citizens of Ponyville are thrown into ludicrous situations, poorly-planned pairings, and weak plot development. What is the cause of all this destruction? Who would do such a terrible thing? Oneshot intended as a joke, mostly poking fun at myself. Enjoy and laugh with me... or else.


It was a normal day in Ponyville, mostly because that's the way all fan fictions begin. The heavens were brightly lit by Celestia's beautiful sun, made more fantastic by the clear summer weather. Equestria's cerulean sky was only covered by the sporadically placed cloud formations. Those obstructions were few and far between, allowing a sort of blank slate for Rainbow Dash to work with.

I'll bet you didn't know that Rainbow Dash was an artist. Sure, the pegasus race wasn't known for its creativity, beyond the spectacular rainbows they constantly provided. When your afterimage is a multicolored stream though, you can't help but become an artist, even unintentionally.

Pinkie Pie was watching the blue pony corkscrew above the scenic landscape. Her pink face revealed only absolute adoration at the amazing tricks being performed in the air. Dash knew she was awesome and ate up the attention.

The rainbow-colored pony began a swan dive, planning to pull up at the last second. Right before she could though, a random flashback began.

_It was another normal day, and Rainbow Dash was getting hungry. So she made herself a peanut butter sandwich. It was delicious._

**Bam**! Dash slammed against the ground comically, just to prove to the audience that there weren't any serious injuries. She skidded a few feet before coming to a complete stop in the dirt.

Pinkie Pie ran over to her friend, only slightly concerned. It was Rainbow Dash after all.

"Hey, Dashie, what are you doing? You're not supposed to smash your face into the ground."

Rainbow Dash grunted as she pulled herself out of the dirt. The pegasus had only injured her pride, but that was enough.

She sighed. "It was another flashback. I... I just can't control them anymore. They keep appearing at the worst times."

Pinkie Pie nodded understandingly. All of Equestria was suffering with her. For some reason, characters were experiencing strange flashback to unimportant events in their lives. Even worse, they seemed to be extremely poorly timed.

"Hey, don't sweat it. Let's just go to Sugarcube Corner, where it's nice and safe."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash laughed, "Nothing bad can ever happen at Sugarcube Corner."

_A few hours later_

After the fire was put out, Pinkie collapsed on the ground, exhausted. Who would have believed that she would be forced into a dream sequence _while still awake_? The dream had obstructed her vision, and she had accidentally set fire to one of the curtains. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash was quick on her hooves and grabbed a conveniently located bucket of water. Great, now there was another "splash" of deus ex machina.

"Pinkie Pie," Rainbow Dash said, "Enough is enough. I'm gonna tell Twilight we're holding a meeting at her place. Something has to be done."

Suddenly the entire mane six were gathered around large table in Twilight's library. No pony questioned where the table came from. They all knew that sudden scene changes were often coupled with additional props.

"Thank you, everypony," Twilight announced from her special place at the table, "I've called you all here today to discuss the-"

"I'm pretty sure _I_ called you guys here. We're just using your house, Twilight," Rainbow Dash interrupted.

Twilight cleared her throat, then handed her a stack of bound paper. "Actually, if you look at the author's previous revisions, I'm the one who called this meeting. I choose to see the previous drafts as canon."

Applejack placed a hoof on the table dramatically. "Since when have fan fiction works ever been canon?"

Rarity looked at her friends, confused. "Would somepony _please_ explain to me you're talking about?" Apparently she hadn't caught onto the fourth wall breaking.

"Wait, you have the entire script?" Pinkie asked, "Can I see the ending? I promise I won't tell."

"NO!" Twilight shouted, grabbing the stack of papers, "It's because of such shenanigans that we're in this predicament."

"Are you saying that is _my_ fault?"

"Well," Applejack pointed her hoof at the pink pony, "You were the one to start this 'breaking the fourth wall' fad if I'm not mistaken."

"And _you're_ the most underdeveloped character in the My Little Pony series," she quipped.

"What?" the orange pony gasped, "There's at least a billion characters that have been given about three seconds of screen time."

Fluttershy finally spoke. "Screen time? I always thought we were in a written story."

"We are for right now," Rainbow Dash explained.

"How does that work?" asked the shy pony.

"You're making it worse!" Twilight screamed, quieting the group down.

"Now," the unicorn said, putting on her business face, "We need to find a way to stop this chaos. It's getting worse than Discord."

_Twilight's face is getting worse than Discord._

Five of the six ponies stopped what they were doing and each gave a facehoof. The author was reaching astronomical immaturity levels. Rarity completely missed what was happening.

"You see? We have to get rid of the new author before it's too late."

"Get rid?" Fluttershy asked, not eager to join any acts of violence.

A confused "huh?" came from Rarity, who was quite in the dark.

"If this keeps up," the purple mare displayed signs of panic, "This show will eventually devolve into a series of unintelligible memes and references to the outside world."

"But then the fun will be doubled!" Pinkie Pie laughed.

"Gah! You just went and did it! You made a reference to a meme!"

"Okay, then how about increasing the fun by 20 percent?"

Twilight pointed her hoof at the pink pony. "Stop! In the name of Celestia, stop!"

Rainbow Dash's eyes darted around the room, terrified. "How do we stop it?"

"We need to kill the author," Twilight said, smiling.

"Woah, there nelly," Applejack interjected, "I ain't about to go killing nopony without good reason here."

"Would destroying a perfectly good fandom without any remorse be a good reason?" the Element of Magic countered.

Applejack squinted angrily. "Oh no he didn't."

"Oh yes, he did. And we're not going to stand for it, are we Applejack?"

"No siree bob. How do we kill him?"

An annoying voice shouted from across the table. "Will somepony _please _tell me what is going on?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Shut up Rarity! No pony likes you anyway."

"We can't kill him now," Twilight began, "But the moment he assumes character form, we've got him."

"What do ya mean 'character form'?" asked the farmer.

"I mean when the author places himself in the story. Usually these bad writers will turn themselves into ponies, just so they can pretend to visit Ponyville."

As if on cue, a pony suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He was an original character, that much was plain, but there was something different about him. Oh, yes, he was cursed with an unoriginal color pallet. He was covered in black.

"That's him!" Rainbow Dash shouted. She jumped over the table, knocking over Rarity and ran up to the new pony. The other four followed suit.

The five ponies (Rarity was still too confused to do anything) surrounded the newcomer, growling like angry diamond dogs. The author looked around, terrified but confident that the colorful little ponies wouldn't hurt him.

"Hello, little ponies. I seem to have amnesia and am wondering what my purpose is. I suppose I'll have to discover it on an extended journey filled with frightful monsters or in a romantic relationship with one of you lovely mares."

That was the last straw.

"Kill him!" Twilight shouted, leading the charge.

"Wait! Stop! You can't do this! I made you!" he shouted.

"You never created us, you just hijacked an original work," Twilight spat, "You make me sick."

The five of them made short work of the terrible writer. His screams fell on deaf ears as they finally finished him off.

"Glad that's over," Rainbow Dash said dismissively.

Fluttershy was trembling violently. "What have we done?" she shouted in horror.

"We finally rid ourselves of that abomination," Applejack laughed, tilting her hat over her eyes.

"That was so much fun!" Pinkie Pie shouted, "I never knew murder was such a party! Now I have the sudden craving for cupcakes..."

"So what do we do now?" Dash asked, looking at the messy scene.

Twilight smiled, and turned to her friends. "I don't know. But I _do_ know that we're finally free of that tyrant. No more flashbacks."

"No more dream sequences..." Fluttershy whispered.

"No more authors! Alright!" Dash shouted, lifting a hoof in the air.

With that, the five of them skipped merrily out of the library and into the streets of Ponyville, singing the My Little Pony theme song.

**Author Note: This story was a triumph.**

**I've made several notes here, huge success.**

**It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.**

**Oh yeah, and I'm still alive. **


End file.
